


Imaginary Enemy Mine

by Lala_Sara



Series: E'Vira [6]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 20:01:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7188077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lala_Sara/pseuds/Lala_Sara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garak is retelling, more truthfully, one of the tales he told in the letter. And then finds out he should be embarrassed about the other one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Imaginary Enemy Mine

**Author's Note:**

> I took some things from post-canon novels, mostly from "A Stitch in Time" by Andrew Robinson and "Crimson Shadow" by Una McCormack. But I twisted most of them. The point of all this series was to bend canon. I call this genre "loose canon" :) So I don't ignore canon but I will do everything to interpret it sideways. There are no facts, only interpretations, as Friedrich Nietzsche said ;)  
> I did it in script form (loosely) but exporting formatting into AO3 is a pain in the ass so you can download it with all formatting here (https://yadi.sk/i/JunpYtGUsT2wU)  
> I'm Russian and not confident enough about my English but I couldn't find English beta. If you are irritated by my mistakes enough to be my beta - you're most welcome!  
> It's in seven parts and maybe I will someday update with some Tolan, Tain and Mila stuff (written or drawn) but I think I'm done with Garak and Julian for now.

 

E'VIRA

Episode IV

IMAGINARY ENEMY MINE

Written by

Lala Sara

 

FADE IN

INT. CARDASSIAN RESEACH CENTER, BASHIR'S OFFICE - DAY

Julian is sitting at the console. He is working.

His secretary, young Cardassian man, comes in.

SECRETARY

I'm sorry, doctor, but there is that man you promised to see, Mekari?..

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh yes, thank you. Send him in.

Cardassian man goes in, secretary goes out.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes, come in. Sit down.

Julian changes place by the console for the place by his desk. Man sits down on the other side of the desk.

MEKARI

Thank you for seeing me.

JULIAN BASHIR

So what's your story, mister Mekari? You only have said that you can tell it only to me - as a foreigner, as I understand.

MEKARI

Yes, you are foreigner but you have all clearances and all. You are truly unique on this planet. You have different perspective. Federation ways. But you know in full our anatomy. Even the most shameful parts of it.

JULIAN BASHIR

So you're here for my different perspective on 'shameful parts' of your anatomy. Which ones? You all seem to be shameful of many of them. Some Cardassians are ashamed even of their chufas and they are on your foreheads. There is nothing shameful about being able to sense with your parietal eye, you know. I wish your parents tell you that and not a doctor.

MEKARI

Erm... No. I sense absolutely nothing with my chufa.

JULIAN BASHIR

(Sighing)

Whatever you say. But if you do - it's alright, thirty percent of the population, or maybe even more, because I seem can't find enough study objects for statistics, are experiencing sensations through their chufa. Its normal, sometimes it's even useful.

MEKARI

Alriiiight... Whatever you say. I'm not about that, though. It's about my son. You're from Federation. So you must be not in favor of slavery. As I heard.

JULIAN BASHIR

Right. I absolutely don't tolerate any kind of slavery. So I'm just a messenger? It's alright, I will gladly tell my... the minister of Internal Affairs about our conversation and I guarantee he will do anything possible to…

MEKARI

No!.. We don't want any Cardassian involved. Especially ex-Order. I think it was a big mistake... I'm sorry, I have to go.

JULIAN BASHIR

No, please, I can't just... I will do whatever you say. I just have to warn you that me alone couldn't be enough to defeat slavery ring or whatever you think I can do.

MEKARI

It's not what I'm asking you to. I came to you as to a doctor. No one needs to know about this. Especially your Order friend. They were the ones who were managing this 'slavery ring' as you call it.

JULIAN BASHIR

Then why you came to me?

MEKARI

You're not Cardassian. You have other values.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes, and let me assure you, so is my partner. Garak would not tolerate slavery.

MEKARI

He tolerated it long enough. He even benefited from it.

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't believe it.

MEKARI

If the Order was still in power my boy would be already their slave. His slave!

JULIAN BASHIR

Okay... Can you just tell me what are you talking about so I could defend my partner... more particularly?

MEKARI

We want you to cut it out of our boy.

JULIAN BASHIR

What?

MEKARI

Kaverchi gland. Do you know what it is?

JULIAN BASHIR

It's a female gland that activates the male orgasming mechanism.

MEKARI

Sometimes boys are born with it.

JULIAN BASHIR

I know. I need to talk to my... other friend about this. If not Garak then... He has a friend with the same variation. I need to know more before I decide anything.

MEKARI

No. Either you do it or I will find someone who will.

JULIAN BASHIR

By the way... Why didn't you go directly to her. Kel Lokar. She's still practicing, no?

MEKARI

Why would I?

JULIAN BASHIR

So she's not open about it. Okay. I still have to ask her.

MEKARI

What?

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm not the expert in this matter and my opinion is no, I won't mutilate the boy only because you say so.

MEKARI

But they'll take him.

JULIAN BASHIR

Who will take him, mister Mekari? There is no Obsidian Order anymore.

MEKARI

But sentimentals still exist. They will take him. And now it's even more dangerous, at least Order had some... order.

JULIAN BASHIR

Do you know your boy is sentimental or not?

MEKARI

How is it relevant?

JULIAN BASHIR

Because if he is, you will deprive him of his happiness.

MEKARI

Happiness? Being a whore for every sentimental bastard who find out about the gland? Happiness?

JULIAN BASHIR

It would be a crime, to force the boy to do it if he is not willing. It's called rape. It's punishable. You can't decide to mutilate the child on accord of possible rape.

MEKARI

There is no law against such rape.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh. Then it will be! I promise you that it will be, if I have any influence on minister... Meantime if your child is sentimental and he will find someone, they could...

MEKARI

They could what? Slet around? A man does not slet around. A man makes family.

JULIAN BASHIR

Sentimentals also could have families.

MEKARI

With each other? With what? He has only a gland, not any other female parts. I understand that it is all confusing to you, doctor, I also don't understand your Federation ways. But you're a doctor, you are healing Cardassians now. You should know better.

JULIAN BASHIR

And as a doctor I'm telling you there are methods.

MEKARI

Well then those methods will do without his gland, will they?

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes but...

MEKARI

So what's the problem?

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm not going to mutilate a child only on your word! You came for my Federation ways - that's my way.  I have to talk to him, to Kel and yes, even to Garak. I personally guarantee yours and your son's safety meanwhile, mister Mekari.

MEKARI

Like I would come to you under my real name.

JULIAN BASHIR

Okay, you don't need my protection. But please, don't just do it with some butcher in an alleyway.

MEKARI

Yes, we don't want that. That's why we came to you.

JULIAN BASHIR

You and your wife, I presume.

MEKARI

Yes. She didn't come because she's worried you won't talk to her.

JULIAN BASHIR

Why?

MEKARI

Because you're a man.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yeah, and a bit of sexism in a pile is good, why not.

MEKARI

I don't know this word, 'sexism'?

JULIAN BASHIR

Of course you have no word for it. You're all still to recognize your own biases.

MEKARI

I know the word 'bias'. We were actually worried you have it.

JULIAN BASHIR

Why would I have it? We have full equality. She is second Cardassian woman who accuses me of sexism with her own sexism.

MEKARI

So you will see my wife? She's more eloquent than I.

JULIAN BASHIR

Who told you that?

MEKARI

Everybody...

JULIAN BASHIR

Right... So you will stay in touch?

MEKARI

Yes. But my wife won't be glad of you involving so many people.

JULIAN BASHIR

You're anonymous, I will not expose you with this.

'Mekari' is going away. But then he turns around.

MEKARI

I forgot. You are researcher, right?

JULIAN BASHIR

It's a Research Center.

MEKARI

You will have an opportunity to research this rare case if you agree on the surgery.

JULIAN BASHIR

Tell you wife that I won't do it through child's suffering. I'll do it only if I will be hundred percent sure that your child's suffering with the gland will be definite, and without it - none. So I will have to talk to the boy. And I will actually know if you make him say he's not sentimental if he is. I have a lie-detector in my head.

MEKARI

Who hasn't?

After a pause.

MEKARI

I'm not sentimental.

JULIAN BASHIR

I didn't ask about you, I asked about your boy.

MEKARI

No... I mean, you flirting with me and all...

JULIAN BASHIR

What? I didn't...

(Sighs)

Your 'flirting with annoyance' tradition is very annoying... I didn't mean it like that. I have other reasons to be annoyed at the situation. I've been this child once and... You have to excuse my unrestraint. I always forget how it could be interpreted.

MEKARI

That's okay. I understand. Different culture.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yeah...

INT. JULIAN'S AND GARAK'S HOUSE - EVENING

At the dinner table. Julian and Garak are eating.

JULIAN BASHIR

I had someone today... They want me to remove the Kaverchi gland out of their son.

ELIM GARAK

Do it.

JULIAN BASHIR

Why?

ELIM GARAK

Because it will be better for a boy.

JULIAN BASHIR

Why?

ELIM GARAK

You should talk to Kel about this.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes. That's actually what I was going to ask.

ELIM GARAK

I'll organize the meeting. Oh, we should have a nice dinner all four of us.

JULIAN BASHIR

Wouldn't it be rude to wait with this so long? I mean the parents of the child...

ELIM GARAK

Then just do it. I promise you, after your talk with Kel it would be exactly your decision.

JULIAN BASHIR

Really? Do you understand why I'm against it?

ELIM GARAK

Your case and this case are connected only in your ill-informed mind, my dear.

JULIAN BASHIR

Really? I see parents who "wants what's best for their child" or rather for them. I see a child who may be crippled after that for life...

ELIM GARAK

That's interesting position. In your case and in his case, too. Were you 'crippled'?

JULIAN BASHIR

Okay. I'm not connecting my case to this. Let's talk about yours. Imagine if it was you who had this gland and it was cut out when you didn't even understand its importance. Or it's the story of a man you love. Now you understand?

ELIM GARAK

It doesn't work like that.

JULIAN BASHIR

How does it work?

ELIM GARAK

The gland attracts predators. Any sentimental would be after him.

JULIAN BASHIR

Are you serious right now? Would you be after him? Are you a predator?

ELIM GARAK

You should talk to Kel.

JULIAN BASHIR

Why? Why YOU can't tell me?

ELIM GARAK

Did you ever speculate my secrets to be... well, just something embarrassing?  Like... You don't usually want people to know you farted. Especially not the subject of your interest. It may... lower your chances with them.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm still only the subject of your interest? I thought we crossed this line and now we're partners. Really, Elim. You can fart all you want.

(Chuckles)

In case you've been restraining yourself.

ELIM GARAK

Oh, very funny. Okay. You want the truth...

JULIAN BASHIR

I can handle the truth.

ELIM GARAK

It's a rather long story.

JULIAN BASHIR

So it's fortunate we have the whole evening ahead of us.

ELIM GARAK

It will be a while before we get to the point so don't interrupt. Also you already know the premise. That was my first real assignment...

EXT. TOHVUN III, NEAR THE CARDASSIAN EMBASSY - DAY

The field that was modified into the football one. Very young Garak is keeping the goal.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from previous scene)

I remember. So something from that part was true? At least football.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from previous scene)

Most of it was true. Only it's me who was Maladek, as Begom. I obscured the story with other's point of view. But that was me who tried to defect.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from previous scene)

Seriously? To Federation?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from previous scene)

I was exhausted. I really had no objective, as I said, it was just general undercover, we had to maintain undercover in real situation. I had a stage fright. And I was so tired after years of training... And there was him.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from previous scene)

Hans?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from previous scene)

No. Hans Jordt was my project and I depicted him in my story. Every student had the project of identity. You had to invent the whole biography of your supposed deep undercover. I had to do a human one. I studied Earth for it. Hans was me-as-a-human. But of course first assignment wasn't deep undercover, just regular, I was still Cardassian, a son of a politician. And I had someone else's biography which I just had to know by heart. So it was rather boring, no creativity. But then it was the first big thing. In a big world. And then he happened.

Garak catches the ball. The young tall brown player who we saw before in the field amongst Garak's team runs up to Garak. He lifts him from the ground in enthusiastic hug.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from previous scene)

He had your skin tone, no, slightly darker. I always marvel at a palette of thin skins. We also have differences but you or Bajorans have so many variations. So many beautiful subtle hues. Not vulgar ones as Orions or Bolians. His name was Malik. Of course it wasn't his real name. I probably will never know his real name... He was very athletic despite being too skinny... Oh, that's probably also like you. All those limbs in unexpected angles... But he was adolescent like me. Maybe later he changed. So with him it was always sports, not one then another. As you know we Cardassians do only war games so the concept of your sports is simultaneously familiar, as we use the same tactics and physical training, but then totally strange, as we don't understand your goals.

Garak and Malik are going away from the field towards the Embassy.

ELIM GARAK

So what did we gain?

MALIK

Respect, silly. We gained respect.

ELIM GARAK

I don't think I sensed respect from the opposite team.

MALIK

Oh, that's jealousy.

ELIM GARAK

For what? What we have now that they want?

MALIK

(Laughing and jokingly slapping Garak)

I told you, silly lizard, respect.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from previous scene)

'Silly lizard'? Really?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from previous scene)

You caught it up from me when I mumble under my nose addressing myself, and I caught it up from him, yes.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from previous scene)

That was slightly racist of him. I call you that only because you call yourself that and I mock it.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from previous scene)

If I call you silly ape would you take offence?

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from previous scene)

Yes, actually. I'm not an ape. Apes are... Oh. They are actually lovely creatures. 'Ape' or 'monkey' was a slur - towards anyone with darker skin, actually, like me. And we still feel it like that, like a slur.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from previous scene)

We had no such history. We know that our many features come from lizards. But it's just the fact. 'Spoonhead' is a slur, yes. It was intending to hurt. Lizard - I think even Malik didn't intend to hurt. It was just the fact.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from previous scene)

But you didn't call him back 'a silly ape'?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from previous scene)

No. Keep listening.

ELIM GARAK

So other people should respect us now, not our opponent? Why?

MALIK

Because we're champions.

(Sings)

We are the champions! We are the champions! No time for losers!

ELIM GARAK

Okay, I've got it.

MALIK

What Cardassians gain in your Cardassian games?

ELIM GARAK

Something more than respect?

MALIK

What could be more than respect?

ELIM GARAK

Life.

MALIK

(Seriously)

Don't tell me you're playing to death.

ELIM GARAK

Well, the goal is to survive the game. We have no rivalry. It's just you with your team against the game. Enemy is always imaginary. We never compete with each other; it would be bad propaganda. We cooperate. We are the State, we are the Union, we are together. Competition makes us vulnerable. We have to think as one, move in one direction.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from previous scene)

So you were lying to him or to me?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from previous scene)

To you. I'm sorry, I needed the premise to Palandine story so I chose something you would understand. And I tried to understand it myself. As Damar's revolution was the rare case of Cardassians going against other Cardassians in such mass. And before that me working against my own people. I was the reason so many of them died. I had to make sense of it. Was the enemy real? Will we get respect? Or jealousy? What happened and still is happening? I was the man who was punishing other Cardassians all my career but I never felt it so sharp. Even when... And then Cardassia after the Fire, after the whole system crumbled... They started fighting each other. Over what? Not resources, that would be understandable even amongst themselves, there were little left. But power. Rivalry. Nobody taught them but they knew anyway. So maybe it's in their nature? Maybe you are right to teach how to resolve it through more peaceful means? Because the firm control is working only when it is in place and the minute it's gone... But I asked you not to interrupt me.

MALIK

So you don't compete with each other? But would you compete with other races?

ELIM GARAK

Why?

MALIK

I don't know... Not to go into war with them?

ELIM GARAK

Will we gain resources in the game? Or only 'respect'? We don't go into wars because we need respect, we go into wars because we need resources.

MALIK

You've gained all resources you need long ago, now you just don't know how to stop.

ELIM GARAK

That's your Federation propaganda?

MALIK

That's the fact. I'm sorry. I try to understand you but...

ELIM GARAK

It's okay. I like debating with you.

MALIK

It's not... Turning you off?

ELIM GARAK

Actually it's turning me on...

MALIK

Wow. I think UT is glitching. You just said that it's turning you on.

ELIM GARAK

It is. Doesn't anybody? Good debate is very stimulating.

MALIK

Okay. You mean not in, like, sexual way...

ELIM GARAK

Well... Actually it's very common form of flirt.

MALIK

Were you? Flirting with me?

ELIM GARAK

I... We didn't have a debate actually. It was only two phrases. I don't know if I'm flirting till I... feel debate in full.

They stop before the embassy.

MALIK

(Laughs)

You are one slippery eel. Okay. Will you debate with me more tomorrow when we go climbing? Rock climbing is ideal sport for you, silly lizard - it's only us against the nature. And we'll even gain some resources - they say some rare plants grow on those cliffs. I heard you like plants.

ELIM GARAK

How do you?..

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from previous scene)

You know, my love, I knew right then that I'm a lousy agent and can't stay in disguise even to survive. My character wasn't much of a botanist. But my own interest in flora gave me away somehow and I even couldn’t fathom how precisely. But then, it wasn't total failure. Malik still might not know about this mistake I made. It wasn't real evidence even if he knew. People get interested in new things all the time. So play it cool, silly lizard!

ELIM GARAK

Yes, I would like to go climbing with you.

EXT. TOHVUN III, THE CLIFF - DAY

Garak and Malik are climbing the cliff.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

I didn't know what he will do. Kill me? Very convenient circumstances. Should I do it first? I was thinking about it all the way to the top.

Garak and Malik went to the top.

MALIK

They still see us, you know.

ELIM GARAK

Who?

MALIK

Oh, everybody. Mine, yours... But at least now they can't hear. This cliff is not just full of rare plants, it's full of not so much rare minerals. Know what I mean?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

I looked around and yes, I knew. Of course, copper. I wasn't so sure it would work, but Malik was sure. Maybe he already made sure? How would I know? Can I trust him?

MALIK

So... Shall we 'debate'? Nobody hears us. You can tell outright.

ELIM GARAK

What should I tell?

MALIK

I don't know. Stuff. What you really think.

ELIM GARAK

I think you think I say not what I think.

MALIK

Do you?

ELIM GARAK

Why would I say not what I think?

MALIK

To protect yourself. You don't want anybody hurt you. It's okay. When you don't feel yourself safe it's natural. It's a survival instinct. I know how it is.

ELIM GARAK

I thought Federation is a safe place. I guess propaganda lies.

MALIK

No, it's not so safe there right now. Because of Cardassa. Cardassians killed my aunt. I loved her, my aunt, you know.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Oh, so he's gonna kill me, after all, thought I.

ELIM GARAK

It wasn't me.

MALIK

I know. You're the victim as well as her. I'm not gonna avenge her by killing some random lizard, silly. It's like in your games, there is no competition, and the only enemy is imaginary. It's just happened that Cardassia imagined the enemy now. So we have to fight this imaginary enemy - together. That's what diplomacy is - to make two opposite sides believe that they are union and the only enemy is common and imaginary. How about that?

ELIM GARAK

I'm not a diplomat.

MALIK

Yet. But in the case you will be... Will you remember it?

ELIM GARAK

You're trying to recruit me?

MALIK

(Chuckles)

Not for Federation. You can fight imaginary enemy from any place. You just have to know it's imaginary. God, your eyes are beautiful. I never saw the shade like this. I can get drowned in them.

ELIM GARAK

Do you flirt with me?

MALIK

Yes, silly.

Malik kisses Garak.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

He's wise.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

To kiss me?

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

That, too. He's wiser than me, at least, in that. But I'm talking about his words.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Son of a diplomat, at least it was his cover. Or as I thought then it was common Federation propaganda.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

Then I clearly missed it in a propaganda hour. Also he made it from your own notions, to make it more understandable for you. Well, you clearly didn't forget his words.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

I didn't... But let's get back to two young fools already in love.

Garak backs off when making out becomes petting.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

I couldn't let him know I was defective. Well, he already knew I was, he just didn't know the repercussions.

ELIM GARAK

Maybe they don't hear but they still see.

MALIK

What will they do?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Honestly I had no idea. Also I was so tired of thinking exactly that - what would they do? I survived training only on that one single thought. What would they - or rather Tain, do if I fail? I will never get his approval and his approval seemed so crucial. But if I won' fail? If I endure, if I succeed - what would I gain except survival itself? Was Tain's frown my imaginary enemy? What you gain in the battle with imaginary enemy? What resources? Or just mere life?

ELIM GARAK

We shall climb back.

MALIK

Will they punish you because I'm an enemy or because I'm a boy?

ELIM GARAK

Can it be both?

MALIK

Who is their imaginary enemy? And who is yours?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Tain's disapproval, my sexual predicament. Were they imaginary? Then with whom am I a union? With Malik? What could a Federation boy do against them? But he could be an enemy himself. Wasn't he? Wasn't he that enemy I was against? Real? Imaginary? Competition, like in his silly games? If I outplay him will I get Tain's respect? Will I get Malik's jealousy then?

EXT. TOHVUN III, FOREST - DAY

Garak and Malik is walking side by side, with backpacks.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Next time we were alone together it was hiking. We weren't actually alone - there were others, but it was pretty easy to make sure we were alone.

Garak and Malik go deeper and deeper into the woods and finally stop in a clearance. They silently drop backpacks and start kissing. Making out they lay on the grass.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

This time they were listening. But didn't see.

Again Garak stops when it comes to petting. He shakes his head "no" and lips "I can't".

MALIK

Why? It's alright. Whatever your people's taboos are, they're not true. There is nothing bad in it. It's natural. It's not a sin. Whatever their argument - it's not true.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

It's not a taboo, I wanted to say. It's not homophobia. It's just physically impossible. That's why it's called sentimentality - because the most we can do is to hold each other's hands sitting on benches.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

But you can kiss, he would say. You can feel. You can be intimate. You can hold hands on the benches. Inability to perform is not inability to love. And be loved.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

If only I heard you then, my love.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

If only you asked... So what happened? You said you tried to defect.

INT. TOHVUN III, CARDASSIAN EMBASSY - EVENING

Garak is reporting to Oonal and getting his instructions inaudibly.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

That were my orders. Of course I told everything to my curator. And the order came right from Tain - use the boy, use Federation arrogance. Get me in Federation, see what channels should defector go through. Of course I wasn't gonna stay in Federation for long. They will use me as a diplomatic scandal - Federation spies seduced and brainwashed the boy! Parents in grief! I was only slightly older than Rugal when he was extradited. You know how it goes. I knew how it would be happening - beforehand. One of preventing measures against defecting was explaining what exactly would happen if we do it. Without emotions, just cold facts. There were no defectors except those who were double agents. That's why you, my love, knew I was a spy even with the 'exiled' label on me. We don't do real exile. Dax didn't tell you about Iloja of Prim? The Order couldn't afford to let loose someone who can harm Cardassia. So people who survived outside of the Union were actually working for it. So they decided to take opportunity and check the defector's route for people who didn't know what would happen to them if they defect. People who actually can do it. We had to exclude the possibility they succeed long enough to harm Cardassia. So I laid out the bait.

EXT. TOHVUN III, THE CITY - DAY

Garak is going through the shabby city.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Malik and I were meeting in secret, with all precautions.

Garak is going into one of the buildings, the Hotel.

INT. TOHVUN III CITY, HOTEL ROOM - DAY

Malik is waiting Garak by the door and hugs him the moment Garak comes in.

MALIK

I was waiting for you.

They kiss. Later in bed. They're making out but Malik doesn't try to get his hands lower than Garak's waist anymore.

ELIM GARAK

I never kissed anyone before.

MALIK

Do you Cardassians kiss?

ELIM GARAK

Yes, it's just me.

MALIK

No one offered?

ELIM GARAK

Girls offered. I declined.

MALIK

No boys?

ELIM GARAK

Are you kidding? I liked one, though. Still like.

MALIK

Oh. I'm sorry.

ELIM GARAK

I like you, too.

MALIK

Did they punish you for me?

ELIM GARAK

They still don't know.

MALIK

Will they?

ELIM GARAK

They will kill me if they knew. Not for you specifically, but because I'm... What I am. They will soon know because I decline girls' offers. Even if I will never have the courage to do what you did.

MALIK

Kiss a boy?

ELIM GARAK

Yes.

MALIK

I don't know what can I do. I admit I didn't know what I was doing. My people also will punish me, for the situation I've put you in. But if something happens to you because of me... Their punishment will be redundant. I don't know how could I survive this...

ELIM GARAK

I'm not your responsibility.

MALIK

Of course you are. Also - I care about you.

ELIM GARAK

Even if I'm not letting you...

MALIK

You're not ready, it's okay. We probably also have different anatomy. I'm curious, are you? Want me to show you? It's okay if you don't. I just... I'm trying to think like you. You feel intimidated or something like that. I would be more at ease if my opponent was without pants. Definitely.

ELIM GARAK

(Laughing)

Your seduction technique is ridiculous.

MALIK

Is it working though?

ELIM GARAK

Maybe.

MALIK

So should I undress?

ELIM GARAK

I wouldn't mind. If you want.

Malik is undressing.

MALIK

There.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

If you're not gonna skip intimate details can we relocate in bed, please?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Yes, and I wouldn't mind some neck ridge chewing if you be so kind.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

With pleasure.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Does it mean I have your permission to include all dirty details I like?

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

I won't mind.  Did you do it, though?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Well, we did this...

Garak is touching Malik's naked body.

ELIM GARAK

So smooth.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

And this.

Garak is touching Malik's penis.

ELIM GARAK

Where is your cloaca?

MALIK

We pee from this and poo from behind. Here, lesson in the comparative anatomy. Cloaca means you do it from one place?

ELIM GARAK

Yes. It's here were your... thingy is. Isn't it redundant to pee from such big... I never noticed it to be so big...

MALIK

It's because it's growing. Especially when you touch it. We not only pee from it. It's reproductive organ. Do you have something similar?

ELIM GARAK

Two of them. But... I can't show them to you. They... They are not growing without something special. Which you don't have. But you can put your... organ in my cloaca if you want.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

And now you're lying. First, you wouldn't have an idea what is 'to pee' means if you don't know his and similar anatomy so much. You're not only doing it from one place but you excrete your urea in hard state, not liquid like us. Desert species, preserving water. But also it depends on your zoology and xenobiology grades. I mean this dialogue just doesn't make sense. So you didn't tell him, right?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

No. It's a big embarrassing Cardassian secret. I would be severely punished if I did. With Malik's death mostly...

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

So what really happened?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Do you really want to know? I can talk dirty until you orgasm and then we can go back to it.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

No. What really happened?

Garak is touching Malik's body.

ELIM GARAK

They WILL kill me. I'm not joking. I think father knows. He saw us together. I'm afraid.

Malik is hugging Garak.

MALIK

I won't let it happen.

ELIM GARAK

How?

MALIK

I'll think of something. If it will come to that... Would you... If it will be the only way... Will you go with me? To Federation? I'm not asking you to betray anyone. No one will ask you anything, I guarantee. There were Cardassian refugees before. We have the law - they can't be recruited in any intelligent services if they don't want to. You'll be just like any other emigrant. You can get political asylum. Because of who you are. If it's too dangerous for you to live on Cardassia because of that.

ELIM GARAK

Yes, I would like you to take me with you.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

And then we did it.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

Liar.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

No, really, I won't continue till you stop fidgeting.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

I'm not fidgeting. Here. I'm not.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

It's really easier to stop the story for five minutes. It's only five minutes.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

By the way, 'cloaca' is not sounding very sexy for humans.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

You're trying to convince me or yourself? It's you who's been turned on by it.

JULIAN BASHIR

(V.O. from the present)

Okay, five minutes.

INT. JULIAN'S AND GARAK'S HOUSE, BEDROOM - NIGHT

Later, right after sex.

ELIM GARAK

That should do it.

JULIAN BASHIR

This case... With the boy... If I take it... It could mean research. Possible solution.

ELIM GARAK

If you were looking for a male with the gland, why didn't you ask Kel? Well, why didn't you ask me to ask Kel. I didn't know it could help.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm not sure it can. As I understand she balanced her hormones in female set now. I need to study how the gland dwells in male hormonal environment.

ELIM GARAK

So your goal solution is to transport the gland into me?

JULIAN BASHIR

Well, no. Not yet. I already know that you and every male who wasn't born with the one will reject it - that's why there were no successful transplantations. So I need to know what is different in the males born with the gland, besides the gland itself, that makes it possible to have it. I know it's not something obvious. But it's definitely there. So... Look, as I understand, you couldn't tell me about the... big embarrassing Cardassian secret before... on the DS9. Right? So that's why you couldn't make a move on me. And it wasn't you who'd be punished, it's me. So you were just saving me.

ELIM GARAK

Oh, no. That was just... slightly inconvenient. I even didn't think of it that much then. One assassin more, one assassin less, no big deal... There were much more serious reasons to kill you, my love, than my embarrassing anatomy. So the rest of the story or you'll be sleeping?

JULIAN BASHIR

Story. I'm not gonna...

Julian yawns.

ELIM GARAK

Liar. You're always sleepy after...

JULIAN BASHIR

That's natural for a human male.

ELIM GARAK

I wonder why. What goal of this mutation?

JULIAN BASHIR

What did you tell about assassins?

ELIM GARAK

Never mind. What exactly sleepy post-coitus is doing for procreation? You're vulnerable. Any predator could just...

JULIAN BASHIR

We weren't going to have sex if we weren't in the safety already. Probably sleepy man and alert woman means woman can go away after sex which made her even more safe - now also from a man. I don't know... It's really sexist theory and now I wonder where I got it... Nevermind. What about assassins?

ELIM GARAK

There were always assassins, my dear. It's just the way of life. I think I started being paranoid when nobody came to murder me in a couple of years. And yes, some assassins were for you because of me. You're still alive, though. So just let it be.

JULIAN BASHIR

How many times have you saved my life?

ELIM GARAK

I don't want to brag.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh my... Of course now you think I'm a ceffing damsel in distress. I never even knew.

ELIM GARAK

I would never let anyone that near for you to knew, my love. Mostly it was very very preventive. Couple of times I had to stop the sources from sending more assassins because really that was ridiculously persistent of them.

JULIAN BASHIR

Sources? Like, many. Who wanted me dead, Elim?

ELIM GARAK

Well, there would be no surprises here, my dear. Tain and Dukat.

JULIAN BASHIR

So Tain wanted me dead after I visited him to save your life. Figures. He didn't want anybody to help you.

ELIM GARAK

(Chuckles)

Yes, of course, my dear...

JULIAN BASHIR

And Dukat was actually angry at me for Rugal.

ELIM GARAK

Slet. I think that nonexistent truth serum you've fed me has lasting effect. I feel uncomfortable lying to you. No, Tain stopped sending assassins for you when you visited him, my love. That's why I made you do it.

JULIAN BASHIR

Made me?

ELIM GARAK

Well, manipulated you... I'm sorry, but that's why I prefer not to tell the truth. By the way the end of the story - do you still want me to tell it?

JULIAN BASHIR

No. Now I want you to tell me why Tain stopped trying to kill me when I visited him. You can skip how you manipulated me. You told me where Tain was, I know you told me indirectly to get help from him. That's okay.

ELIM GARAK

Not if the whole incident with my implant was manipulation to get you to him.

JULIAN BASHIR

You were dying.

ELIM GARAK

As I had to. There was no alternative, you wouldn't visit Tain without the premise and for you the best premise is a dying patient, you're so predictable here, my love.

JULIAN BASHIR

What if I didn't? Visit him.

ELIM GARAK

Then there would be an anonymous donation of my own healthy leukocytes.

JULIAN BASHIR

So you never were in any danger?

ELIM GARAK

No, my love, but you were. I was a little tired of rebuffing two waves of assassins so I could miss some. So I had to take care of at least one. And if at the same time I had the damn implant stop spying on me... That would be also beneficial.

JULIAN BASHIR

It was also a bug. Of course.

ELIM GARAK

Fortunately, it made me so ill that I had to switch it off permanently. No. You had to. Doctor's orders.

JULIAN BASHIR

Okay. That I actually get. But why Tain stopped his assassins?

ELIM GARAK

Because I sent you to him. Like a gift. I know it's a double bluff and could not work, I know, my love. I risked your life. But it was this or his ridiculous persistence of seeing you dead. The risk of not doing anything was greater.

JULIAN BASHIR

Why he wanted me dead even before we ever met?

ELIM GARAK

Don't forget he could see and hear through my head. He actually met you. He had every reason to believe you were making my life on the station tolerable. My punishment was not going so well.

JULIAN BASHIR

But you showed him that it isn't so? By sending me to him?

ELIM GARAK

I knew him. I knew how he thinks. I knew what he thinks of me. If I can use someone I don't really care about them.

JULIAN BASHIR

But you were keeping me alive from his assassins all that time. Does it mean you care about me?

ELIM GARAK

Not necessary. I just may need you to use you.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh. So you never used someone you cared about?

ELIM GARAK

Will you listen the end of the story then? About precisely that weakness of mine?

JULIAN BASHIR

You were using Malik.

ELIM GARAK

As I was trained to do. But keep listening.

EXT. TOHVUN III, NEAR CARDASSIAN EMBASSY - DAY

Federation and Cardassian delegacies with families are on the picnic.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Everything was staged so Malik and his parents see it. If they knew Cardassian culture they would know that it cannot be real. We would rather die than start a family scandal on public. But we were playing.

Oonal who is playing 'Krai', father of Garak's character, glances at Garak and Malik who are smiling at each other. Then he hits Garak. Malik and everyone stare at it in awe.

KRAI

(Hisses not that loud that Malik hear it but loudly enough to some Federation delegates near him to hear it)

Do you understand what I will be forced to do, you idiot? I didn't teach you enough not to do such things? I better kill you myself trying to teach you than let them kill you. I knew it was a mistake to bring you here but your mother thought if you won't see that boy you will calm down. But no, you found someone to stare at even here. A human! Well, at least these creatures won't shame me on your behavior, they clearly tolerate it. Go to your room and stay there!

Garak is going to his room.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

There was a same-sex couple amongst Federation delegation. I had every reason to believe that all dirty looks they took from Cardassians were for the benefit of this little play I was the main character of. But it got to me. I knew Oonal is playing but... Cardassians don't see homosexuality as something dirty but only because they don't see it at all. You are not visible. You don't exist. You can't exist. You are laughing stock at most. Someone who is being silly. Men cannot be anything more than friends. You're being ridiculous. You can't dislike being with a woman. Your body knows you like it. You're just being stubborn. Relax and enjoy! To be treated with contempt - is it better than death? It won't take much from me. That's what you actually say to yourself. It won't take me much patience to tolerate it. It won't take me much strength to do what you've told. It won't hurt much, just relax and it soon will be over. And you can't think of a man as you should of a woman, you silly lizard. You will get nothing of this so why try?

INT. TOHVUN III, NEAR CARDASSIAN EMBASSY - EVENING

Oonal is beating Garak in his room. He is doing it without emotions and checks if Garak's alright every other strike.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Is there a difference? Is there a difference between sincere punishment and what you have to endure in the name of assignment? It hurts the same. That was not the first and would be not the last time I was hurt because I was obedient, not because I disobeyed. As you could guess by the implant I was not excelling in pain management. I was stubborn, yes, but I had very low pain threshold. They were understanding. They didn't like it and I didn't simulate and didn't cower. But painkillers weren't used much. Only to allow you some control. But if you gotta look hurt you gotta be hurting.

Later, Garak alone in his bed, curled in a ball.

Malik is sneaking into Garak's room. Garak is bruised all over.

MALIK

(In distress)

Baby! What he's done to you! I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill them all!

ELIM GARAK

Hey, remember - imaginary enemies. Not real. We and my father have one common imaginary enemy, not each other.

MALIK

And how can I explain to him that?

ELIM GARAK

It's easier than to kill him.

MALIK

I had to say to my parents. I'm now also under home arrest.

ELIM GARAK

I would run away, too, but I'm afraid I can't run right now.

MALIK

Oh, baby! I'm so sorry.

ELIM GARAK

It's okay. Not the first time.

MALIK

Remember what we were talking about? About real escape?

Garak starts sobbing. Malik hugs him tight.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

And that was the moment I knew I can't do it. And I want to do it. So I couldn't pretend I am defecting, I couldn't use Malik, couldn't hurt him as I was. So now I wanted to defect for real. Be with someone who cares am I hurt or not, for once. Are they all that caring? Those softy Federation people? But what were my chances? I knew that Order will return me. But what if I tell the truth? Tell everything I know about the plan; could they think something against it? Was it my salvation - truth? Was it?

Garak starting to whisper in Malik's ear. We don't hear what.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

I was telling the truth maybe first time in my life in such length. I was talking and talking and talking... All night. Malik just listened. He just listened without movement. He went away in the morning. I was so exhausted I barely noticed it.

Malik is going away. Garak is falling asleep.

INT. CARDASSIAN EMBASSY - DAY

Oonal is telling something to Garak, inaudibly.

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

Next day I found out that Malik asked his parents to fly him home. I failed. Both in Order's goal and my own. I will not defect, pretend or real.

INT. JULIAN'S AND GARAK'S HOUSE, BEDROOM - NIGHT

JULIAN BASHIR

That's why you don't like truth. You think it betrayed you. But of course it's lies that betrayed you, not the truth. He ran away from you because you lied to him, not because you told him the truth.

ELIM GARAK

And where is the difference? It hurts the same. It wasn't my choice to lie, it was my choice to tell the truth, and I was rejected for it.

JULIAN BASHIR

No, he rejected you because he couldn't cope with the situation. He was young and it was too much for him. It was not your fault and not the punishment for truth.

ELIM GARAK

Sometimes I thought I forgot to tell him the main truth of that moment - that I fell in love with him, so that's why he ran away - he heard only that I lied him about it, that I don't love him. Sometimes I thought that he himself lied to me about his feelings, perhaps he was an agent, too and walked away when he found out that his target is an agent himself. But... We will never know. Your guess is as good as mine.

JULIAN BASHIR

You didn't follow up?

ELIM GARAK

I was not the good agent then, as you noticed. And when I became better and collected strength to face it the trail went cold. Officially there was no one named Malik at that conference - why I still think he must have been an agent. Or at least he lied to me about his name. I've never heard anyone else call him like that or at all. People who I thought were his parents had no children. So you see, the theory that he lied to me about his feelings to recruit me is more probable.

JULIAN BASHIR

But you told him that night that you want sincerely to defect?

ELIM GARAK

Yes, but as you can see he didn't believe me.

JULIAN BASHIR

No, it can't be it. From average refugee you became very valuable defector. You knew how the Order works; you should be a priority from that point on. So no, if he was an agent indeed, he must have had feeling for you to cut opportunity like this. You refused to use him and then he refused to use you in return. I still have some connections... Will you let me find him? I don't want to do such things behind your back again.

ELIM GARAK

Yes, I would be most thankful, my love.

JULIAN BASHIR

But you still didn't get to the point. Were you punished?

ELIM GARAK

Actually no. That was the point.

INT. CARDASSIA, THE OBSIDIAN ORDER HEADQUARTERS - DAY

Garak in Tain's office.

ENABRAN TAIN

It's my fault. I didn't explain enough. But that was opportunistic case, we weren’t ready for it. We didn't make you ready for it. Kelas, darling, come in.

Kelas Parmak comes in from the backdoor. He's only slightly older than Garak here.

ENABRAN TAIN

You have special needs, Elim. And it's not bad. It's just is. It's not your fault. We should have addressed it earlier. Nurse Kelas here can satisfy your special needs. But it's only temporary. It’s not his duty to satisfy your needs. It would be goodwill gesture for him. If you will perform your duties, Elim, and perform them well, not like you did it this time... In time you will get your own... ultimate prize. Someone whose duty would be satisfying your special needs. For now, I will give you regular prizes when you behave and withdraw them when you disobey. I hope I will never have to ask you anything again. Will you be good?

ELIM GARAK

(V.O. from the present)

How could I reject it? That was first time when I was rewarded for disobedience and not opposite. That meant all is in balance again. And now I had Kel. He was so perfect. I was a shallow idiot, I know. Maybe I still am...

INT. JULIAN'S AND GARAK'S HOUSE, BEDROOM - NIGHT

JULIAN BASHIR

Ultimate prize? You've hallucinated Tain, did you? I was right. What did you do for him? For me? Except blowing up your own skimmer?

ELIM GARAK

I didn't kill anyone.

JULIAN BASHIR

But you did something. Something... Something Tain would approve.

ELIM GARAK

I founded my own Obsidian Order. That's what you want to hear?

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't want to hear it.

ELIM GARAK

Well, yes, I did. What do you want from me? I was literally insane. I didn't kill or maim anyone in the process though.

JULIAN BASHIR

And now?

ELIM GARAK

I am the minister of Internal Affairs. I have my own legitimate forces. I don't need shady agents and cloak-and-dagger routine. And I still didn't kill or maim anyone. Well, there were couple of death sentences since, but I didn't order them. What do you want from me?

JULIAN BASHIR

I trust you now but we were talking about the time you were literally insane. I know you're not telling me something.

ELIM GARAK

I recruited an agent.

JULIAN BASHIR

I know that.

ELIM GARAK

Then you know everything. I was under impression the True Way is behind everything and the only way to oppose it is to take charge of it as Tain did. I tried to do that. There were no True Way, only chaos, though.... So I... founded True Way, too. Accidentally. But I dismantle it as soon as I stopped seeing things. I monitor the situation now. What do you want from me?!

JULIAN BASHIR

It's okay. It's okay. I just want you to trust me. I would want you to tell me sooner, that's all. Let's go back to... So what was the point of the story then?

ELIM GARAK

Don't you see? We are all predators. I didn't notice that Kel doesn't like men because I didn't care. I cared only about me.

JULIAN BASHIR

You were just trusting Tain. And the system. You didn't know it was based on rape and slavery.

ELIM GARAK

But I shouldn't trust! I was on the brink of defecting and still I didn't question anything!

JULIAN BASHIR

You couldn't cope. You've grown, you helped Kel in the end.

ELIM GARAK

But does it matter, in the end? Does it really matter?

JULIAN BASHIR

Yes, Elim. It matters. I know you think your memory is non-linear but your life is. And progress matters. That's why I forgave you everything not knowing what that was - because only progress matter, not the past.

ELIM GARAK

But it never feels like it.

JULIAN BASHIR

I know, I know...

Julian is holding Garak who starts to sob.

JULIAN BASHIR

You said Cardassians praise old age for wisdom it brings. Why don't you?

ELIM GARAK

I'm not wise! I'm still a shallow idiot lashing out in the dark.

JULIAN BASHIR

(Chuckles)

You know, seeing your faults IS wisdom. You imagine being wise is to be self-righteous and arrogant? No wise man ever called himself wise. And whoever said to you that being sentimental somehow connected to any moral feature is wrong. You were thrown in this situation. You are victim the same as this boy with the gland. You didn't ask to be born like this.

ELIM GARAK

How many times I wished this thing inside me can be just cut out. Oh, I wouldn't complain if my parents fixed my orientation as you whining about. And I was so willing to turn for someone. And maybe if I could have a family, stable, with children, I would. He managed it, right? Why couldn't I? But no, not in this line of work... No...

JULIAN BASHIR

You have family now, my love. I'm your family.

ELIM GARAK

We will never be a family in anyone's eyes.

JULIAN BASHIR

You care about this so much?

ELIM GARAK

I don't know...

JULIAN BASHIR

I don't care what anybody think, frankly. Should you?

ELIM GARAK

I don't know. I never been just myself so I don't know how it is when they think of... just me.

JULIAN BASHIR

You want this relationship to be a secret?

ELIM GARAK

No. That's not the point.

JULIAN BASHIR

Then what's the point?

ELIM GARAK

I'm sick of being myself. Can I go back half an hour?

JULIAN BASHIR

Mm?

ELIM GARAK

I don't like it. I shouldn't tell you all this. It's... messy. No point. What's the point? What's the point of you knowing? You should forget.

JULIAN BASHIR

I suppose you know a couple of ways to make me, hm?

ELIM GARAK

Mm.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh my god, Elim, you do? How many times you used it on me?

ELIM GARAK

It's so easy to erase something that isn't settled itself yet in long-term memory. For humans it's even more so. You do it accidentally to yourselves sometimes. You, of course, do not. High tolerance. You perhaps even don't know what it is being drunk, just like me. Can't afford being careless. But yes, I know ways. I didn't do it since you're with me though. I swear.

JULIAN BASHIR

Why didn't you do it when you kissed me that first time then?

ELIM GARAK

I'm tired. I'm so tired. I became weary of not getting you. I think I would just... I think I was ready to end it all if you reject me. I think I was ready to die. I was waiting for you to die. He - hallucination of you - he supposed to lead me to peaceful death. I know it doesn't look like it, if I wanted to die I could just blow myself in that damn skimmer. But it was a play, Tain with his objectives, prizes... Duty. I had to fulfill my duty to Cardassia. I don't know. It's hard to make sense of madman's thought process. But I know now that if you wouldn't come, if I waited till he comes... That would be the end. I would die happy. With my ultimate prize. But I've been waiting and waiting... Tain was giving me more objectives and I had to do it to get you.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh Elim... Do you really have nothing to confess? What did you do for the ultimate prize?

ELIM GARAK

I didn't kill or maim anyone.

JULIAN BASHIR

Why? Why he didn't tell you to?

ELIM GARAK

Because it wasn't him, it was me! He was in my head! And I knew I will never get you, even imaginary, if I did something really horrible.

JULIAN BASHIR

But... Playing with True Way and the Order...

ELIM GARAK

You really don't see how much you love this stuff yourself, do you? How many times you worked for Intelligence in these ten years? Tell me that work wasn’t the only bright spot on your dull existence. You wouldn't really reject me for the same. I wanted imagined you playing with me but... Stupid implant wouldn’t take orders anymore. It just played games. Like a broken holosuit. Do you remember one? I wanted so much to go back into it... I think I understood you are my e'vira on that very moment when I got you to shot me. But it was just the moment I lost you.

JULIAN BASHIR

You were saying you were doing it on the station, with my memory. When? What did you erase? You're gonna do it now, so you can tell the truth, I won't remember in the morning anyway, right?

ELIM GARAK

Mostly like this. When I couldn't bear anymore. I would come and tell you the truth. Any truth, whatever was in the day's agenda. You always were taking it so... confusedly. I knew you would hate me in the morning. So I make you forget.

JULIAN BASHIR

Did we ever... Did we ever been intimate?

ELIM GARAK

Not like this. It was all embarrassing to you. You never let me know you welcome it. That's how I knew I will never get you. I still don't know why all these years I've been clutching at you when I should just move on. It finally drove me literally mad. And I still feel it. I still may be insane. It has no sense that you are here, wanting me. It feels real but... How can it be?

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh, Elim, I'm real. But one is good. You still want to tell the truth. Of course your trauma taught you to take it all back right away but still. Truth for you is like food for bulimia nervosa sufferer. You can live without it but sometimes you have these fits when you're craving it so much you're overdoing it. And you vomit it all up later. Like nothing happened. No consequences. It's treatable, you know. Bulimia. This thing can be also. You just need 'truth diet'. You have to tell truth in small portions and resist vomiting it. Please don't make me forget. I'm not mad at you. No reason to do it, see?

ELIM GARAK

But I feel sick.

JULIAN BASHIR

I can make it better.

ELIM GARAK

How?

JULIAN BASHIR

Why do you feel sick?

ELIM GARAK

I don't know... No. I know. I will lose you. You will go in the morning and I will never see you again. Like Malik.

JULIAN BASHIR

I won't go. I promise.

ELIM GARAK

How can I trust you? I would go. I would leave. I would never stay with such a pathetic idiot.

JULIAN BASHIR

(Chuckles)

Really? You would leave ME?

ELIM GARAK

Not you! I would leave me!

JULIAN BASHIR

Well, then it's a happy circumstance that you are not making this decision but I am. I won't leave you the same as you won't leave me. Remember - we are partners. Mates. For life. In sickness and health. Also what a ridiculous notion that you are pathetic. You can be intimidating, check. Brilliant, check. Magnificent, check. Confused, check. Miserable, check. Even idiot, check. But pathetic? I think you cannot be that even if it was your cover and you would need it to survive.

ELIM GARAK

Oh, and that would be so pathetic!

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh no, that would be endearing. Do you still feel bad?

ELIM GARAK

I don't know.

JULIAN BASHIR

I know that if you would give me a chance on the station... But we will never know, right? So... Let's just move on. We've wasted enough time. Wait here.

Julian goes out of bed, Garak lets him go grudgingly. Julian comes back with some Cardassian fruit.

JULIAN BASHIR

I know nobody here will see it as legitimate and we won't have any benefits from it... But I want it anyway. Also things are changing here, right? Why not start a change in this area, too, minister? Can you try to make it legal and all?

ELIM GARAK

Are you... proposing to me?

Julian gives the fruit to Garak.

JULIAN BASHIR

As I said - in sickness and in health. I don't know exactly how to do it. But I've read enough of Cardassian literature...

(Clears the throat)

Elim Garak of Cardassia, would you enjoin with me, Julian Subatoi Bashir of Earth?

ELIM GARAK

Are you pitying me? That's why I don't...

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh for crying out loud, Garak, can you not... You're ruining it. You're supposed to eat it or not eat it, not self-loath. Yes, maybe I do have an ulterior motive right now, I'm trying to keep this night in my memory and I thought this could help. But I've been actually planning this for months. Why do you think I suddenly acquired a taste for the ceffing accava? It's disgusting. So shut up and eat! Or not... It's really disgusting. If you want to just say it and don't touch it, it's fine by me.

ELIM GARAK

But it's the point of accava! If you are willing to enjoin with someone you are ready to take any bitterness the enjoining could bring.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm sure it's just because accava was the only desert fruit with ninety-nine percent water in it so it was just the gift of precious water. But whatever you say.

ELIM GARAK

If you actually were planning to propose to me what was hindering you?

JULIAN BASHIR

Erm... Gosh... I was waiting for when... Oh, I... Well, I wanted to ask you when I would find the solution for... you know. But I wouldn't tell you I found it, I would tell you that I will never find it, that I gave up and... ask you to enjoin with me when you think I am useless. So, you know... If you say 'yes' it wouldn't be because you use me or do it out of gratitude. And look who's pathetic!

ELIM GARAK

You're not pathetic. You're... endearing.

JULIAN BASHIR

So... Do you still want to erase this night?

ELIM GARAK

Well, aren't we an endearing couple?

JULIAN BASHIR

We are. So the answer? Will you eat the damn fruit?

ELIM GARAK

That is a stupid tradition. And you're right, accava is disgusting. If tomorrow morning you will remember it then the answer is yes. And now we will sleep.

JULIAN BASHIR

Okay. If you need time to think... But please don't decide for me. Decide for yourself. I've had enough of you deciding for me, haven't I told you already? If I forgive something in your past it doesn't mean I encourage it now. Progress, remember?

ELIM GARAK

Mm.

They cuddle. Julian closes his eyes. Garak is still looking at accava.

INT. JULIAN'S AND GARAK'S HOUSE, KITCHEN - MORNING

Julian and Garak have breakfast.

JULIAN BASHIR

Did you organize the dinner with Kel and Vesa?

ELIM GARAK

Yes, just did that.

JULIAN BASHIR

Good. I need her input in this case with a boy. And by the way we can announce our betrothal. Well, I still don't know anyone here that close to tell them and everyone else are not here... We can subcomm them though. Mm?

ELIM GARAK

Mm. Yes. O'Brians, Kira, who else? I don't think it would be wise to tell Jake, do you think? I don't want it to be a quadrant news by tomorrow. I still have to think of strategy to announce it officially, but he would not wait.

JULIAN BASHIR

I agree. I love the boy but... The same with Quark. I was pleasingly surprised when I woke up that you didn't erase this night, though.

ELIM GARAK

You know, I'm pa... endearing idiot. But I was pondering this actually - by entirely different reason. It's not fair that you abandoned your plan for betrothal. Now you will never know if I use you and all...

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh, I think I'll survive. I made a request by the way. About Malik. There was nothing in Intelligent archives so I asked Tuvok if he can help. Archives of Section 31 are a mess, of course, they preferred not to archive anything, but... Let's see what he'll get.

ELIM GARAK

I'm glad he's in charge now.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'm not. I mean why keep it at all.

ELIM GARAK

Hm.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yeah, I think the same about the Order. You didn't say you dismantled it.

ELIM GARAK

Didn't I.

JULIAN BASHIR

No. You said you dismantled the True Way. You didn't say you did the same with the Order.

ELIM GARAK

You are so scrupulous, my love.

JULIAN BASHIR

So what? Are you dismantling it?

ELIM GARAK

When I have such colleges as Tuvok? Are you kidding?

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh. I give up. Okay, I'm gone to work. Don't blow up your skimmer.

Julian stands, kisses Garak's chufa and goes away.

ELIM GARAK

It was one time!

INT. JULIAN'S AND GARAK'S HOUSE, EVENING

Later that day. Julian and Garak greet their guests - Kel Lokar and Vesa, chubby Bajoran woman in her forties (in human years).

They share Cardassian greetings with each other and murmur trifles about house and weather and whatnot.

Later all four at the dinner. The same murmur goes on.

KEL LOKAR

Julian, can I ask for something? As a colleague.

JULIAN BASHIR

Of course.

KEL LOKAR

Your position... It belonged to my teacher. They pensioned her off to get you. But she still wants to work. Could you be so kind and restore her at least in some minor position?

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh my. I didn't know. I'm sorry.

KEL LOKAR

It's okay, she knows not to blame you.

JULIAN BASHIR

I would actually be very grateful if she would be my teacher, too. I will get her to my personal staff if she doesn't mind.

                           KEL LOKAR            

I'm sure she won't. Thank you.

JULIAN BASHIR

You're most welcome.

ELIM GARAK

Isn't it your 'head of your cell' teacher? She's still alive?

KEL LOKAR

Yeah, despite of your efforts, my dear. She's a sturdy old creature.

JULIAN BASHIR

Wait a minute. You actually were in resistance?

KEL LOKAR

Well, I wasn't going to kill Tain but...

ELIM GARAK

My dear, stop boasting. Your cell was tiny and unimportant. I know, I dismantled it.

JULIAN BASHIR

I thought you were innocent so you just...

ELIM GARAK

What? She just confessed she thought against Union? Really?

JULIAN BASHIR

So you in all earnest... stared her into confession?

KEL LOKAR

Oh no, he annoyed me into confession. He was sitting there like he's so disappointed in me it took away his voice. So outraged he was. Not by me being a traitor but by him not noticing it under his nose. So it just felt good telling him when and where I was playing him. So damn good.

ELIM GARAK

In short you were boasting. Did your teacher forgive you for that?

KEL LOKAR

Oh yes, she did. She knows what a nuisance you are.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh my... I really thought you guys...

KEL LOKAR

What?

ELIM GARAK

Oh, he imagined us saving each other in the interrogation room. I was saving you by not interrogating you, you were saving me by confessing.

KEL LOKAR

That's not very accurate but sure as hell interesting.

ELIM GARAK

Well... It's accurate in my case, at least. I was thinking what could I do and found that I could do nothing. If you kept your big mouth shut...

KEL LOKAR

Oh please, Elim, you knew Bran knew everything already. Do you think he really did it only because of our relationship? Yes, he made YOU do it exactly because of that - you were salvable. But I was not.

ELIM GARAK

But you were his confidant for so many years...

KEL LOKAR

And he knew that I was only officially his. He still had Tolan. I mean Mila. He never trusted me enough, that's for sure. So of course he knew that all those years I was YOUR confidante. Just how he planned.

ELIM GARAK

Planned?

KEL LOKAR

Oh, Elim. You never saw how he played you. I was forbidden so you wanted me more. I was not exactly useful so you weren’t really happy. Just where he wanted you. I told you you had to take your own sut'tert when they offered you. He could be your real confidant.

ELIM GARAK

I had another... sources.

KEL LOKAR

I know. And you didn't want a confidant also because you had me. So you were a dysfunctional agent. With too many secrets from his own organization. And with a lousy support group neither of us could control. No wonder they kept you so long under rocks you lost your mind.

JULIAN BASHIR

Tzenketh?

KEL LOKAR

Mm. Remember Tzenketh?

ELIM GARAK

I survived, did I?

KEL LOKAR

Indeed.

ELIM GARAK

(To Julian)

Tell her about the boy.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh yes. I could have a male patient with Kaverchi gland. Parents want to cut it out.

KEL LOKAR

Do it.

JULIAN BASHIR

Why?

KEL LOKAR

Because it will happen to him. What I and every man with a gland in the Union went through. He will be a victim.

JULIAN BASHIR

I still think there must be other way. Your society is changing. You have power to change it.

ELIM GARAK

It would be very slow process and meanwhile the boy will fall victim of our hopes. I know that your eternal optimism is your main power source and I would never willingly strangle it but... It's my duty to remind you about reality, my love.

JULIAN BASHIR

Optimism is not just my power source, Elim, it is a power source of every progress in Universe. If we want something to move forward we first have to think it is possible. If we pledge to the safety of this kid now it would be a tremendous motivation, don't you think? And where there is motivation there is speed. But if we say now - 'no, we can't do this', we will never do this.

KEL LOKAR

It's a big risk. For a kid.

JULIAN BASHIR

Of course. And I'm not saying we have to rush into this. We have to plan and all. But... We have powers. Between even just four of us we have those powers. Let's ceffing use them!

ELIM GARAK

I will support any decision but I'll abstain.

KEL LOKAR

And who will make a decision? We have one voice for and voice against. I'm not gonna back down, too. I won't let this poor kid suffer like I did.

ELIM GARAK

Let Vesa decide.

VESA

Oh no, if you abstain, then I will abstain, too.

JULIAN BASHIR

Nobody still asked the kid.

KEL LOKAR

Yes, and nobody will. Do you understand that? Nobody will ask what he wants.

JULIAN BASHIR

So we shouldn't, too? How you are better than those who will not ask later? M?

KEL LOKAR

Because I think about what is better for the kid and they wouldn't.

JULIAN BASHIR

Or for yourself? Do you understand that he is not you?

KEL LOKAR

Do you understand that he is not you either?

VESA

Girls! Girls! Stop it. We already know what each of you think, in length. I will abstain, of course, but I won't watch you fight. I agree with Julian. You are so afraid of something that isn't even the part of your society anymore. At least shouldn't be. So maybe I abstain with the same reason than Garak - because I am on the opposite side of my partner. Of course it's logical because you are both Cardassians and we are both offworlders. But it certainly doesn't mean that you are more right than we are. Not when your society tries to change. And become more like our societies. So if you want that - and at least in your case, my love, I know you do - then do ceffing change yourselves! And it means do change the attitude.

KEL LOKAR

I wouldn't immediately say I want our society be more like your society. Your society was based on castes only sixty years ago.

VESA

But we had same-sex marriage.

KEL LOKAR

Of course, if they both belong to one caste.

VESA

Oh, but it's past. That's the point. You had Obsidian Order only ten years ago. But it's not enough that it's gone. It won't really go away if it's still in your heads. You gotta stop fearing something to fight it. Believe me, that's the only way it works. Maybe you are experts on Cardassians but I am the expert on fighting them and that's what we are talking about here. You gotta stop fearing them. I know you both, and his parents, have learned helplessness but you gotta stand up! You will not save the kid with fear. No one ever has been saved by fear. You two weren't. Remember who and how saved you. You, my love, was saved when he (pointing at Garak) stopped being scared little boy in the closet. Not before. He did it stealthily, yes, and no one is offering to be dumb and outright about it now, too. But he stopped fearing at last! And you, Garak. You also have to remember who saved you.

JULIAN BASHIR

Yeah, I'm interested, too.

ELIM GARAK

I'm also interested, my love. I don't remember anyone in particular. Maybe only you for your company that saved me from death of boredom. So who saved me, Vesa, dear? Who was so brave?

VESA

Me, in particular.

ELIM GARAK

Oh dear, I never seen you before Kel introduced us. And you are so secretive about your real name. So if you want gratitude you better tell me straightforward when and how because I’m sure as hell don't know.

VESA

And why would I do that?

KEL LOKAR

(With a smile)

Girl has a point. You'll be furious if we take away your moment.

ELIM GARAK

Well, at least give me the clue beside self-proclaiming act of saving. I can guarantee that it wasn't that simple from my point of view. I repeat nobody ever saved me. Not ceffing once, not when it wasn't their duty. Even you, my dear Kel. My fiancé here just love theorizing about stuff like that but I never had hard proof that something like that happened and I guarantee you it wasn't in this case either. No one ever saved me and I also never saved anyone, Vesa. Including your lovely wife!

VESA

Slet it, I give up.

Vesa stands up and goes away.

KEL LOKAR

I'm not gonna defend in words that you saved me.

ELIM GARAK

Good!

KEL LOKAR

Because I'm defending it with every breath I take. The fact I am still breathing proves it. And I remember that I also did save you couple of times, do you?

ELIM GARAK

You just assured me that you were planted for me so it was simply your duty as my confidant.

Kel wants to say something but thinks twice so she stands up and follows Vesa.

ELIM GARAK

(To Julian)

I really don't remember any Bajoran women saving me. Or otherwise, for that matter. I tried to save one but failed.

JULIAN BASHIR

Or... You can have a lacuna in your memory. Just saying. I heard it could happen...

ELIM GARAK

Argh, why I didn't do it this time? Now I will never hear the end of it.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh, but every action has consequences, my love.

ELIM GARAK

Yes, especially good ones.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh, you're confused again. I am punishing you not for a good action but for your bad actions. And now you don't have an excuse of them being not your choice. I am very proud of you for making the right choice now and that's why I forgave you. But really, I can't just pass this opportunity to mock you. That would be... out of character, don't you think?

ELIM GARAK

That would be, my love, yes. Oh... She said about me being a scared little boy in the closet.

JULIAN BASHIR

She probably knows about your claustrophobia. I don't think she knows the human idiom, though...

ELIM GARAK

No. Only few people knew about it.

JULIAN BASHIR

About what?

ELIM GARAK

So she must have been in contact with one of them. Not in Hutet, not one of them was in Hutet. So earlier. I've got nothing. Strange, one of that few was Malik and we just talked about him. Maybe it's even about him. I wouldn't even know... He could save me, as you theorized. But Bajoran woman?

JULIAN BASHIR

But not one of those few was Kel? Good. At least I'm not the last.

ELIM GARAK

Oh, Julian, love, I did tell you, several times, just...

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh. I forgot. Got it. Did I react so bad?

ELIM GARAK

You were in shock. But it's hard to tell why.

JULIAN BASHIR

It's something about your childhood? Someone locked you in the closet? That's how you became claustrophobic?

ELIM GARAK

That's not the accurate description. I... was hiding in the locked closet.

JULIAN BASHIR

From who? Tain?

ELIM GARAK

Erm... Can it wait till later?

JULIAN BASHIR

You mean till I can happily forget it? Again? You were doing it at nights, were you? Go into my room, fed me some heart-wrenching truth, rinse it with some benzodiazepines in Romulan ale and then leave me in the morning. What I don't understand why I never checked myself after? I surely had to feel some hangover. Why I didn't check what's wrong with me? Not once.

ELIM GARAK

Probably because I didn't 'rinse' you with alcohol. And it's not only benzodiazepines. You want formula? Let's trade. I'll give you this and you will give me the formula to Cardassian truth serum.

JULIAN BASHIR

I'll think about it.

ELIM GARAK

I thought so, you have no such thing. It was a placebo. Psychological effect. I was expecting to spill my guts to you and secretly I wanted it so I just did it all by myself. I know the trick.

JULIAN BASHIR

Or it's you who's lying, and there is no amnesia drug. I would notice, you know.  Would certainly notice lost time but the loss of sleep also. I noticed it when Sloan was doing something similarly shady. And I don't remember any unexplained loss of sleep beside that...

Garak jumps up startling Julian.

JULIAN BASHIR

What?

ELIM GARAK

Oh damn. And I gave them unabridged version of the ceffing letter by your request.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh my. Really. Why did you?

ELIM GARAK

That would be very embarrassing now.

JULIAN BASHIR

Mm. Why?

ELIM GARAK

Because this woman is Tir Remara.

Julian starts laughing.

JULIAN BASHIR

Oh boy. But then she knows you lied about being attracted to her. Both because you never knew how she looks and because you are sentimental. But damn, those descriptions. I believed you. I really did. Right till I asked Quark was Remara so hot as you described her. Of course he never heard the name before.

ELIM GARAK

Well... As I said, I had to keep you entertained. You obviously are easily entertained by female bodies.

JULIAN BASHIR

And of course Bajoran dabo girl was a cut at me. So how did you guess that Vesa is Remara?

Kel and Vesa comes back in. Vesa is blubbered, she obviously cried.

ELIM GARAK

Because only one of those few had a thing for Bajoran girls. And I know the list of those poor girls.

KEL LOKAR

But never bothered to look at them, though, as it seems.

ELIM GARAK

(To Vesa)

I apologize about depicting you or rather your name in my story.

VESA

How did you know it was me and not any other girl?

ELIM GARAK

Actually I knew most of them, some even in flesh. There are few, though, that I never have seen. And all others of those I never have seen are definitely dead. So he just sent you to Hutet when he got tired of you? I knew you disappeared but there was no body and no proof he killed you. I lost the track of you. That's why... I carried your name... The name in my story was the reminder to myself to keep looking. I clearly didn't fulfill my promise for which I am sorry. But I wouldn't find you anyway, right?

VESA

I was in Resistance before he... took a liking to me. So I managed to escape. But they caught me and I made sure HE will not find me. I was under different name in Hutet.

ELIM GARAK

So what happened? With my alleged saving?

JULIAN BASHIR

Pardon me for interruption but are we talking about who? I feel real 'Dukat' vibe here.

VESA

Well, you feel right.

JULIAN BASHIR

How many Bajoran girls he had precisely?

ELIM GARAK

Thirty two as I know of. Most of them just for a couple of months, though. He was easily bored. But some of them he was keeping for quite some time. Till they became a nuisance. Or until they get pregnant. Were you?

VESA

Luckily I escaped before that.

JULIAN BASHIR

He had the gland.

ELIM GARAK

How do you think Ziyal happened? He made her in the tube?

JULIAN BASHIR

Your people even didn't know how much you've compatible, though... Your public. Entire occupation was on a premise you have the right to do it because Bajorans are different and younger race. Both your peoples. They didn't know Cardassians and Bajorans are related. You know why Federation was putting a blind eye to Occupation? Precisely because of that, it fits under Prime Directive - it was internal affairs. But both your people didn't know that. Because the telltale sign – natural hybrids, were not an issue here. Women were rarely on Bajor at all. Most of men with the gland were under Order's control. Serving rich or influential sentimentals and being honey traps. So the risk of conception was minimal. But then Dukat happened. How?

ELIM GARAK

His father. He covered it all up.

JULIAN BASHIR

And you uncovered it? That's how you were responsible for his father's death.

KEL LOKAR

Well... Actually it was me. But I was officially dead soon after so... Do you think they released me for nothing? After only three years?

Julian looks at Garak and sighs.

JULIAN BASHIR

Elim here is hoping you all forget about the saving tale. I'm a distraction, apparently.

(To Garak)

Don't you wonder what it may be?

ELIM GARAK

Actually not in the least.

JULIAN BASHIR

Well, I wonder.

(To Vesa)

Please do tell us.

VESA

Remember Tzenketh?

ELIM GARAK

I definitely haven’t been saved there, my dear. Only by a support unit who was almost late.

VESA

He didn't kill you though.

ELIM GARAK

Oh, I was only slightly blown up and left to die. No big deal.

VESA

He could kill you for sure.

ELIM GARAK

That's not the definition of saving. As I was saying, our points of view could be different. So who he was to you? The bustard who buried me? I knew him under false name, too, of course. Were you the one who told him about me? It was what made him try to kill me, by the way. He said it was for his sister.

VESA

That's me. But you don't understand! It was Skrain! He ordered him to kill you. And I asked Berus not to do this. Because I heard what Skrain was telling about you, you were more on our side that you knew yourself. What you did for girls before me.

ELIM GARAK

I never did enough!

VESA

But you were his constant pain in the ass. And what you did for Naprem... But Berus couldn't just not do anything, Skrain had me as a hostage, so he had to improvise. So yes, we actually saved you. You just didn't know as I understand.

ELIM GARAK

Oh, ceffing amateurs...

Garak is hiding his face in his hands. Finally, he emerges.

ELIM GARAK

That's very interesting story. And even believable, Skrain could do exactly that. But I survived only barely. Even if you told your brother to not kill me he didn't listen. You automatically thought he did when you found out I survived. But only I know exactly how I did it.

JULIAN BASHIR

So it was after Dukat's father was executed?

Simultaneously Garak and Vesa.

ELIM GARAK

Yes.

VESA

No.

JULIAN BASHIR

Dukat wanted you dead before that?

Again Garak and Vesa simultaneously.

ELIM GARAK

No.

VESA

Yes

ELIM GARAK

(To Vesa)

Haven't you done enough damage for tonight?

KEL LOKAR

Oh get over yourself!

ELIM GARAK

I'm sorry. But you're on her side, of course.

KEL LOKAR

I'm not on anyone's side. He could try not to kill you. You know it's not very precise technique - explosion. The fact it was explosion and not phaser beam right into your face... Also he could know about supporting group. The fact they were lazy bustards who hated you is not his fault.

ELIM GARAK

I still have nightmares I am buried alive.

KEL LOKAR

I understand that. But you can't blame Rem for it. She didn't know you, she just felt pity for a little boy in a closet and was brave enough at least to ask. In spite of the risk to herself, apparently. Do appreciate it.

ELIM GARAK

I'm sorry. The subject... I still have too many emotions attached to it. I need an air.

Julian takes Garak's hand because notices it's shaking. They both stand up and go out of the house.

EXT. HOUSE'S GARDEN - EVENING

We follow Garak and Julian into the garden. Soon Kel and Vesa, or now Remara, join them.

JULIAN BASHIR

(To Kel and Vesa)

As a doctor I can say that Elim indeed survived by a miracle. But what's new here. As he says it's just the occupational hazard. But he's suffering more from a mental trauma than physical in this case. I've seen him in severe claustrophobia fits and it's ceffing scary. He once tried to literally walk out of the airlock. So you have to forgive him for lack of restrain.

ELIM GARAK

Many times I wished I died under those rocks just not to remember it. Do you understand that even if your brother did try to save me it wasn't worth it? I would rather die with a phaser in my face.

JULIAN BASHIR

Hey, I wouldn't.

ELIM GARAK

I know, my love, I know. The thought that you would be sad if I die often saves me. Well, not in this case because then you would never know me...

JULIAN BASHIR

(Skeptically)

Yeah, and that's why you staged your death?

ELIM GARAK

I was not in right mind then.

JULIAN BASHIR

And committed suicide - right here, by the way. I still shudder when I see you with that damn grafting knife.

ELIM GARAK

I was still not in right mind...

JULIAN BASHIR

Yeah, I know. It's just... You know... It's hard not to think that you care about my feeling in that regard not enough. Try harder, would you? Oh... That's why you think that Kel should hate you in spite of you saving her. Because you think that what she went through in the camp erases it like what you've been through under the rocks erases you surviving it.

Julian looks at Kel.

JULIAN BASHIR

And I blabbed it out loud, did I?

KEL LOKAR

(To Garak)

Ceffing hell...

Kel sits abruptly on the bench.

KEL LOKAR

You were hating yourself all this time? Elim... I lied. I lied you about the rape to make you pity me. I betrayed your secret to make a deal. I had to soften you somehow, to make you think I had no other choice.

JULIAN BASHIR

(To Garak)

That's interesting because it means that you knew Dukat's secret but didn't want it to be out. Why?

Garak looks at Julian with bad eye.

JULIAN BASHIR

Sorry. I'll ask later. Or... Never?

KEL LOKAR

I knew it was the sure issue, you were always so furious about rape. I'm sorry. I should've told you I lied later when I was already safe. I didn't know you were affected so much.

ELIM GARAK

(To Julian, with death in his eyes)

Yes. Look at that, my love. But I am the one who has the reputation of a filthy liar. Remember what she told you when you met her? How hypocritical of her, isn't it? People often doesn't notice their own lies and consequences of it. Because they always think that only their lie is justified. Beware of people who think they are truthful. Everybody lies. That's what everyone remember but they always forget to include themselves in that formula.

(To Kel)

And now tell my fiancé why YOU called ME a liar.

 

FADE OUT

THE END

Of Episode IV

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sut'tert = (Kardasi) sex-worker.
> 
> I used Tinsnip and Vyc’s version of the dictionary.


End file.
